- Epiphora: "I personally find it a little weird looking, but it's really not a bad vibrator."
- Ash: personally
- Ash: the rest of this review is from my third cousin
- Ash: but this part is my specific opinion
me and my gf
- me, from the bathroom: i just made up a poop song to "new york, new york"
- the gf, from the bedroom: ...
- me, singing loudly: I'M DROPPING A DEEEEEEUCE... I'M LEAVING SOME POOOOOPS... I'M MAKING LOTS OF FARTS IN IT... BATHROOM, BATHROOOOOOM
- gf: ... ... you're weird
- me: MY FUTURE CHILDREN ARE GOING TO LOVE ME
- gf: ... ... ...
- me: NOTICE HOW I SAID MY NOT OUR
- gf: ...
- me: DID YOU NOTICE?!
- gf: ... i noticed
The tendency is to speak in terms of “should.” Should the protesters have moved, should the police have reacted how they did, is the cop who punched the pregnant lady justified, etc.
Recently, I’ve found it more interesting to think in terms of “did.” Did the bank bailouts and unchecked corporate…
“Tragically, culture has kicked the bed out of church and God out of the bed,” Rev. Ed Young told the Christian Post. “It’s time to bring God back in the bed and put the bed back in the church. That’s what this bed-in is all about.”
what is happening
i could fuck jesus in a church, bring it on
"I don’t like this expression “First World problems.” It is false and it is condescending. Yes, Nigerians struggle with floods or infant mortality. But these same Nigerians also deal with mundane and seemingly luxurious hassles. Connectivity issues on your BlackBerry, cost of car repair, how to sync your iPad, what brand of noodles to buy: Third World problems. All the silly stuff of life doesn’t disappear just because you’re black and live in a poorer country. People in the richer nations need a more robust sense of the lives being lived in the darker nations. Here’s a First World problem: the inability to see that others are as fully complex and as keen on technology and pleasure as you are."
—
“What’s Wrong with First World Problems”
This times a million, plus the fact that everyone talking about “first world problems” is bragging about them.
(via katherinestasaph)
(via rlottery)
They just are. be rad, be inspired to be the raddest fucking person ever!!
My definition of Rad:
1. A totally awesome thing
2. A way of being: It is Rad to accept yourself and all others for who they are.
Being Rad is also about living the fuck out of your life in whatever way makes you happy…
(Source: seeyouloveyoubeyou)
"People say, “I’m going to sleep now,” as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. “For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.” If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen. “They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be okay? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.” So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself.’"
— George Carlin (via aeloquence)
(Source: beautemillesimee, via oldfamiliarway)
(Source: thestateofunlimited, via lady-fett)
"Like I could take a nap at 4:15 p.m. and then I’ll wake up twenty minutes later and have absolutely no clue where I am. I’m like, “What era is this? Is it the 1920s? Am I a flapper? Should I go and put on a flapper costume and go flap at a party?” Then I’m like, “Is that what flappers even do? Flap? Is flapping a verb?” I’m that out of it. And I’m also drenched in sweat. Like some little Dutch boy in knickers ran over to me while I was sleeping and poured a bucket of water on me. Or like I have malaria and it’s 1932 and I’m surrounded by mosquito netting. I’m drenched. I’m covered in goo. I’m like a baby deer covered in placenta hobbling around trying to learn how to walk, thinking that it’s the 1920s and I’m a flapper and there’s a little Dutch boy running around with a bucket of water. That’s what naps are like for me."
— Mr. Funny Pants by Michael Showalter (via bohemea)
(via rubdown)
"Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it."
—
Maurice Sendak (via throughtosomethingnew)
My new dream is to have a child eat my work. Or a grown up. I’m not picky.
(via rosalarian)every time this comes up on my dash i think of my friend amy. we were in college and we were talking about the movie red dragon where he eats the william blake print and she was like, “I UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU LOVE SOMETHING SO MUCH YOU JUST HAVE TO EAT IT” and from that point i knew to be afraid of her and also that we were meant to be friends because she was at least as intense/crazy as i was.
(Source: jamesnord, via rosalarian)
"Hey, wanna fuck and eat with me for a few years?” “Sure."
— Relationships (via tangledupinlace)
"He had heard her say, so many times, that a society that approved of making abortion illegal was a society that approved of violence against women; that making abortion illegal was simply a sanctimonious, self-righteous form of violence against women—it was just another way of legalizing violence against women, Nurse Caroline would say."
— John Irving, The Cider House Rules (via johnirvingthings)
(via incorrect-assumptions)
"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today."
— - Lawrence M. Krauss
(Source: sirmitchell, via wilwheaton)
"Two kinds of people in this world:
1. people who leave the protective film on their touchscreen surfaces indefinitely
2. people who aren’t afraid of life."
1. people who leave the protective film on their touchscreen surfaces indefinitely
2. people who aren’t afraid of life."
— Cole
(via drinkyourjuice)
